OMG!!! We actually made it through Season One!!

Ok so it took us about as long as Kirk’s complete five year mission, but we completed Phase One of what started off as a fun little idea concocted over Bailey’s-infused coffees on a Christmas morning long ago.

To finish the season, we had to deal with Kirk dying (Oh wait, that’s his twin brother, right? No, just his brother who looks exactly like him. I’m just confused now…), Kirk’s sister-in-law dying, and Kirk’s nephew apparently being sent to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood (“Sorry, there’s no room on the Enterprise for a snot-nosed kid.” -Kirk).

Oh yes, and did we mention LOTS OF FLYING VOMIT?!?!?!

And that Spock GOES COMPLETELY BLIND?!?!?!

Are you afraid of scabs on fishing line? Does the sun set you free? Do you have inner eyelids? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

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download the MP3 file here.

An award-winning classic Star Trek episode? You mean we’re not the only ones who think Star Trek really does have some great plots?

Generally regarded as one of the all-time best Star Trek episodes, this episode features a gorgeous Joan Collins as possibly the one true love of Kirk’s life (Kirk exempted of course). Some funny Spock humor, some over-the-top demented Bones acting, and a genuinely soul-crushing Kirk decision makes for a surprisingly effective combination.

Could you build something from stone knives and bearskins? Do you own a few pounds of platinum? Do you dig Joan Collins’ accent? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can
download the MP3 file here.

So it starts with an amorphous pizza-shaped blob. That can burrow through rock. And spit acid.

Actually, that’s what the whole plot of this show is about. Slowly learning that the pizza thing may be more human than the humans.

If you were to make an alien costume, what would it look like? Would it be as weird as this thing? Would Spock grok it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can
download the MP3 file here.

Wars being fought by computer really sounded like a great idea until this episode came along and ruined it. Instead of being shot or gassed or nuked, just walk into a spinning closet and you’re painlessly disintegrated! Such a civilized concept could have lasted forever if Kirk hadn’t shown up and started blasting everything is sight.

This episode is actually a pretty smart sci-fi concept, exploring the idea of warfare and its related deaths becoming so technical they become a mundane part of everyday life, neither feared nor avoided. The show also has one of the coolest classic Trek sets, with a computerized scanning station complete with spinning radar viewer. Not too shabby considering the less-than-stellar budgets of the ’60s.

Are you a casualty statistic? Are diplomats completely useless? Have you heard Spock tell Uhura to sit on a scantily-clad alien? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

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download the MP3 file here.

So, you’re standing on a street corner with a friend, minding your own business, when suddenly three dudes in cloaks carrying long, hollow tubes approach you from multiple directions. Do you call for help? Run away? Convert to a new religion? The Star Trek answer: all of the above!

LANDRU!!! Part Kramer-haired holographic cult leader, part schizophrenic computer! Join the body! Become filled with peace, and joy, and experience glorious pre-planned acts of violence! What a lovely planet we have to visit this week.

Unfortunately, our own L-Andrew wasn’t able to make this, but we had plenty of fun both at his expense and in his absence.

Can you destroy a computer — with a logical loop? Can a sparkler shoot from a hollow tube? Was George Takei completely high for this show? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can
download the MP3 file here.

A Viet Nam era jet is scrambled over U.S. airspace to check out a time-travelling UFO, leading to the TrekQuesters’ highest rated episode to date.

Combining one of the best Kirk fights ever with a big dose of geeky Trek humor, Tomorrow is Yesterday is a great example of the things we love most about ST:TOS (with the notable exception of attractive female yeomen and/or aliens).

With this first plot focused on time travel, Star Trek makes a big leap into one of science fiction’s great “final frontiers.” Is time travel actually possible? We’ll leave that to future physicists to figure out. But is a time-travelling Kirk neck-flipping a 1960s security guard hilarious? Yes, yes it is.

Will you be part of the first Saturn mission? Is Spock capable of making a mistake? Do you believe in little green men? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can
download the MP3 file here.

On this show, we meet one of the classic characters from the Star Trek universe: General Trelane, AKA The Squire of Gothos, AKA an all-powerful adolescent alien space blob. When the Enterprise crew finds an unknown planet in the middle of the star desert, “Greetings and Felicitations” soon go sour as Trelane gets in touch with his human (i.e. violently irrational) side. Castles, candelabra, harpsichords and swords provide an anachronistic backdrop for a battle of wits between Kirk and and the impish Trelane.

Are you a naughty little boy? Do you wear lime green pants? Would you phaser the last salt vampire remaining in the universe? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can download the MP3 file here.

If you could visit a planet where all of your most intimate thoughts would be immediately made real, would that be a good thing?

In what is currently (and perhaps shockingly) our highest rated episode to date, the Enterprise crew experiences just such a place, for better or worse. Kirk struggles with a literal inner demon from his past, while Bones chases a white rabbit and Sulu fights a samurai. Zeroes and flocks of seagulls fly above, and a chained tiger wonders why his once glorious run at Ringling Brothers has taken such a s dramatic turn for the worse.

Is this the single best episode of the Original Series? Probably not. But after two shows discussing futuristic courtroom dramas, it was great to see the lighter side of Trek so beautifully and blatantly on display.

Do doctors ever peak? Do Vulcans have any imaginations at all? Could you defeat a mounted wax knight? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can download the MP3 file here.

In our longest show to date, The TrekQuesters take on the mega-sized two-part episode, “The Menagerie.” Between swigs of tequila, Jack Daniels, and Soco & Coke, we managed to cover the Original Series only two-parter, the first ever Star Trek pilot, “The Cage,” AND the second J.J. Abrams Trek film, “Into Darkness.” We had some good laughs about Commodore Mendez’s possible illicit relationship with his secretary, Captain Pike’s blinking chair, green-skinned women, and pulsating alien heads. We also had a serious discussion about the relative merits of the new Trek films compared to the classic originals we (obviously) know and love so much.

If you’re up for over an hour of TrekQuesting goodness (1:16:50 to be exact), you’ll be rewarded with a roller coaster of deep thoughts. Example: When Captain Pike’s chair blinks again and again, is he trying to say “NO!”, or “Yes!” much more slowly? It’s hard to replicate that kind of entertaining banter, folks.

Apologies in advance to Mr. Stephen Hawkings. If you regularly listen to our show, we do reference your name without your permission. We hope you agree with our assessment that your 21st wheelchair kicks Pike’s 23rd century wheelchair in the ass. Hard.

Which version of Veena do you like best? Does no really mean no, even if it’s just one blink? Does J.J. Abrams have a freaking clue about what Star Trek is all about? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can download the MP3 file here.

Captain Kirk orders most of his senior staff to fly a tiny shuttle straight into the heart of a quasar-like green cloud. What could possibly go wrong?

Scoring on the far low end of the TrekQuesters’ logic score, this episode nevertheless offers one of the original series most (unintentionally) hilarious moments: a giant spear cracking through a styrofoam space rock and glancing off the head of “dead” crewman. Why is a giant spear being chucked at a dead crewman? Because the giant fur-wearing humanoids who live on the planet make giant folsom-pointed spears. And when giant humanoids with giant spears live on planets in the middle of quasar-like clouds, they tend to be grumpy. And these particular humanoids are probably even grumpier than would be normally expected, seeing that their planet is seemingly otherwise devoid of life — which would tend to make the giant humanoids pretty hungry. Did I mention this show isn’t very logical?

It’s actually kinda funny that the episode that’s most focused on Spock’s dedication to logic surrounds a plot with so many illogical holes. Completely separated from Kirk for the first time, we see that Spock’s insistence on pure logic can really irritate his human colleagues. One of the other officers comes darn close to outright mutiny, and you’re left wondering how Kirk would react once he learned the full details of what happened during the Galileo’s little outing.

Can you recharge a spaceship with a gun? How long would you have waited for Yoeman Mears? Are you afraid of space giants? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or send us an email at StarTrekQuest@gmail.com.

Or you can download the MP3 file here.